Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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