dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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