you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
