I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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