ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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