I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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