I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
