we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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