If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize