No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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