shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize