whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
