Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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