mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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