You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
