she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
