This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
