normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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