I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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