Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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