Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everyone says I win the strip club
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
