im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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