I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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