You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
