do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
