There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
