I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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