I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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