Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
