I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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