I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize