Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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