Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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