Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
