This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
