Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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