i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
