i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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