He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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