you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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