sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
