My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
