Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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