awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
