At least make sure they are 18
Why
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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