So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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