you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
