the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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