In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
