I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
