her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
