I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
