they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
