dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
