Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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