Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
