Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
