No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
