I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
