it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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