Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize