p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
