Umm I'm too high to move.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
