It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
