I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
